The 25 Worst Americans

August 5, 2003
11:25 AM CST

To my mind, the appellation of “Worst American” is the harm they caused the United States—so the Rosenbergs’ betrayal of America’s nuclear weapon to the Soviets, and Benedict Arnold’s treachery towards the fragile Revolution, are at the top of the list, and rightfully so.

When I was thinking about my own choices for “Worst Americans Ever”, I deliberately disregarded people like Johne Wayne Gacy and Richard Speck because what they did was of no particular nationality, per se. Their crimes, horrible though they were, could have been committed in any country, and for all their horror, the crimes left America the nation untouched.

Not so with some of the others on my list. For interest’s sake, here are my 25 Worst Americans, in order.

1. The Rosenbergs and Robert Gold
4. Aldrich Ames
5. Robert Hanssen
6. John Walker
7. Benedict Arnold
8. Alger Hiss

No surprises there: all were actual traitors, and my only lament is that only the Rosenbergs got the chair—all seven of these bastards should have been executed.

Then we have the traitors who have actively subverted, and who wished to subvert, the American way of life, and replace it with something worse (ie. socialism / communism).

9. Noam Chomsky
10. Gus Hall
11. Amitai Etzioni

And finally, we have the people who may not actually have belonged to any anti-American movement, yet who have done as much to further the aims thereof by their actions, their policies and their government.

12. FDR
13. Woodrow Wilson
14. Jimmy Carter
15. Jesse Jackson
16. Bill Clinton
17. Joseph Kennedy Sr.
18. LBJ
19. William Taft
20. Richard J. Daley
21. Richard M. Daley
22. Boss Tweed

And finally, there are the assholes assassins, whose actions caused lasting damage to America, either by the acts themselves or by the consequences.

23. Lee Harvey Oswald (or whoever else pulled the trigger)
24. James Earl Ray
25. John Wilkes Booth

There you have it.

One last note: You may notice that Jonathan Pollard wasn’t among the traitors. Pollard gets a grudging pass from me in that he wasn’t divulging secrets to America’s enemies, but to Israel. I still wish that the traitorous little bastard had been hanged, however—they could just have used a silken rope instead of a rough one, in mitigation.