Interesting Situation
November 26, 2008
9:49 AM CST
Here’s an interesting situation. Most of us are against the War On Drugs, for various reasons, but most of all, I suspect, we look on the whole law enforcement issue with a jaundiced eye ever since “no-knock” warrants and property seizures became part of the business—i.e. when our rights got trampled on in ever-increasing measure, all for a few ounces (okay, grams) of Columbian Marching Powder.
Most recent, of course, has been the epidemic of random drug tests, foisted on us for good reasons—i.e. if one is a bus driver—and not-so good reasons—like when new employees have to undergo these horrible intrusions on our privacy, in the private sector.
Note that I understand the need for the latter testing, but I don’t agree with it. (For the record, I refuse point-blank to undergo a drug test of any kind because I can state under oath that I do not take illegal narcotics of any kind, nor any other drug to excess—and that, as far as I am concerned, is the beginning and the end of it.)
So I look on this outcome with mixed emotions:
The Whizzinator is a prosthetic penis that comes with a heating element and fake urine.
U S Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan’s office says the goal of it and another device called Number 1 was to help people pass drug tests.
George Wills and Robert Catalano each pleaded guilty Monday to two conspiracy counts and face up to eight years in prison, a $500 million (£334,000) fine or both.
They owned the California-based internet company Puck Technology and the devices were sold from 2005 to 2008.
“The Whizzinator is the ultimate solution for a drug testing device,” says a statement on the website of the California-based company, which calls itself the “undisputed leader in synthetic urine.”
“The prosthetic penis is very realistic and concealing is simple, while our quality production and materials assures you that the Whizzinator will let it flow again and again, anytime, anywhere you need it!”
Mr Catalano and Mr Wills pleaded guilty to conspiracy to sell drug paraphernalia and conspiracy to defraud the United States government.
Frankly, I think that this is pure and utter bullshit. To call a fake urine dispenser “drug paraphernalia” would have Orwell’s O’Brien nodding his head in agreement; and pardon me for even thinking this, but wouldn’t the use of said device be a conspiracy to defraud the government, as opposed to its manufacture?
If one prints fake U.S. currency, can the makers of the printing device be part of a “conspiracy” too?
Yeah, I know: the express purpose of the Whizzinator (splendid name) is to defeat a drug test, and would likely only be used by someone intent on defeating the test/trap. Speaking traps, has the Fed ever prosecuted the manufacturers of radar detectors under the same principle?
Sorry: but this one smells to me, and it smells worse than real urine. In fact, on principle, I wish I’d bought a Whizzinator before now, just in case.
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