“Dear Comrade President To-Be”
November 17, 2008
10:16 AM CST
Dear Comrade Urkel,
I was about to apply for a position within your future Administration, but then I saw this piece of news:
If you want a job in an Obama administration, be prepared to disclose every blog post or comment you’ve ever written.
A nine-page questionnaire requires applicants to list—and if possible, provide copies of—all “posts or comments on blogs or other Web sites” they have ever made. Also required are “aliases” or nicknames used on those sites.
Happily, I don’t post under an alias, because I’m not a coward and I believe in my First Amendment rights, so no problem there.
However, in exercising those rights, it appears that in the past, some of my comments at websites (and indeed, posts on my own website) have referred to Your Supreme Highness in less-than-flattering terms: “Commie bastard”, “gun-grabbing hypocrite”, “terrorsymp asshole”, and “slimy liberal shitbrain” were some of the more moderate ones.
Speaking of Constitutional rights, I note too that your questionnaire also asks whether the applicant or any family member owns guns. Doubtless, this is to ascertain whether, as future members of your Administration, we would need Secret Service protection. Have no fear in that regard: let me assure you that my family and I are all extremely well-armed (with state-issued concealed-carry permits, with all the background checks entailed), and we are quite capable of defending ourselves; but thank you very much for asking.
Anyway, it would sadly appear that my posting history may perhaps render me ineligible for consideration, so I’m not going to bother applying for a position in your future Administration.
However, in the Administration which follows yours (after the 2012 elections), I will be applying for the position of Grand Inquisitor. I’m applying for that position already because the applicant pool will doubtless be huge and the competition fierce. In fact, given the magnitude of the task, I’m pretty sure that the Department of Communist Prosecutions will be a Cabinet-level post.
Sincerely,
Kim du Toit
